In Treatment
by Rydia Pryde
Summary: Follow Squall as he has to go through mandatory group therapy after Time Compression. Through it he will slowly learn more about himself and his relationship with Rinoa and slowly begin to understand his comrades. Cameos abound.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own FF8

So, this is my second attempt at a fanfic. My other one is still ongoing and is kinda dark. This... is definitely light hearted. Just a silly idea of Squall having to attend a support group post-Ultimecia. :-P I might also explore some of the other character's therapy sessions...

**In Treatment: Prologue**

Finally it was over. The ten tortuous sessions that all of them had been forced to do after Time Compression. Cid had thought it was important to have all of them evaluated on a psychiatric level shortly after the the adrenaline subsided from the second Sorceress War.

To be honest the let down at first rewarding, there was finally time to breathe, but very soon after it had left all of them antsy and paranoid. They were always looking for a new enemy.

Squall supposed there was mild benefit towards the whole thing, or atleast that was what he had told Cid. He was just glad it was over. Being forced to talk about his feelings for an hour straight for almost three months, while Kadawaki asked him about his personal life and dreams was quite possibly the most painful experience of his life. Far more painful than sharing a tent with Zell after he had eaten a can of gas-producing beans, or the week when Selphie planned the Garden Festival, or one of Quistis lectures on 'proper leadership', or the visit to Laguna Rinoa had dragged him to.

That was another thing, Dr. Kadawaki at Garden had referred them all to a psychologist, Dr. JANE Kadawaki, her sister. Wasn't there some sort of ethical boundary of patient privacy that had been breached?

"God, thank goodness that's done. Can you believe that Kadawaki thought I might have an eating disorder?" Zell flopped his cafeteria tray next to him, one of the hot dogs teetering close to the edge, "I mean, I clearly eat enough."

Squall rolled his eyes and crossed his arms _That's the understatement of the year_

"Over eating is an eating disorder too, Zell..." Quistis facepalmed as Zell panicked at the stray hot dog, carefully placing it back on his tray.

"OVER eating? gfdllkgj gGFslmi lsid, Quistmflg," Zell mumbled, bun sticking out of his mouth thankfully impeding the rest of whatever he was planning on saying.

Squall chose not to comment, knowing that if he expressed the thoughts he had, he may effectively end his friendship with Zell. He wasn't that heartless. Rinoa had been mercifully patient with him, and one of the things he had learned was that while she loved the fact that he was finally saying what was in his head, it was also sometimes important to NOT say everything.

"Zell, that is CRAZINESS. But, like, I'm not surprised, she didn't get me at ALL either. She thought I was like.. ugh, let's not talk about it, she's making me go to more sessions. Can you believe that?" Selphie pointed her fork at him forcefully to emphasize her frustration.

_They can do that? _Squall looked over at Selphie curiously. He felt a gentle hand on his leg giving a squeeze, "We don't know what you're thinking, Squall," Rinoa murmured in his ear.

Squall sighed, "She can make you go to more therapy?"

Selphie jabbed her fork in the hot dog on her plate, causing Zell to flinch, "I GUESS. So lame, right?"

Rinoa reached over him, pilfering a fry off of his plate, "Why did she want you to come back, Self?"

"She said I was like, co-dependent or something. Like, I focus all my happiness on other people or whatever. I mean, I don't HAVE to go to more sessions, right? It's super lame and you'll fix it, right Squally?"

Squall shrugged. Selphie's emotions being dependent on other things and people? The woman cried hysterically for days in her room when he said the Garden Festival _might_ be delayed this year, prompting Irvine to threaten his life in order to have him recant the statement. Maybe Kadawaki #2 wasn't as big of a quack as he thought.

"Zell, you're on your FIFTH hot dog, that can't be good for you," Quistis took of her glasses and carefully put them away, "And Selphie, you're not the only one. She said I have control issues, though she DID recommend that I be reinstated as an instructor."

Everyone shifted uncomfortably at the table, forcefully looking away from Quistis.

Quistis glanced around the table, her head quickly jerking back and force, "I'm not controlling, am I?" No one spoke, "AM I?" Quistis stood up quickly, pushing her chair back causing it to loudly scrape against the cafeteria floor, "I...I have to go," she mumbled apologetically quickly exiting the room.

Irvine coughed, "Come on darlin, it's not THAT bad. You might learn something, right?" He hung his arm around Selphie, "Me, on the other hand, she thought I was just 'bout perfect."

_Yeah right, you probably just heard what you wanted to_.

Selphie raised an eyebrow, "Didn't she call you a narcissist?"

"Nothing wrong with a healthy dose of narcissism, darlin," Irvine tipped his hat with a grin.

"How did it go for you, Squall?" Rinoa squeezed his leg again gently, shifting her chair closer to his.

_I am not going to talk about this in front of everyone_ "Nothing. It's over."

Rinoa wrinkled her nose and leaned her body onto the table so she could tilt her head to look up at him, "hmmmm... my Squall-dar says that the good Doc got under your skin."

"BOYAKA, Rinny you are SO right, look at his face!" Selphie squealed.

Squall rolled his eyes, "Whatever."

"It's okay, Squall. I mean, we all have things to adjust to, it's nothing to be embarrassed about." Rinoa cast her eyes to the table, her hand reaching up to her hair to twirl it between her fingers. A nervous habit she had picked up in adolescence.

"What happened with you, Rinny?" Selphie's voice had dropped to a normal decibel.

Rinoa frowned, and pulled the piece of hair in front of her, glancing for split ends, conveniently making her look disinterested as well as forcing her to not have to look at her companions, "I... my sessions have to continue one on one and they have also been making me see Odine. Lame, right?" She laughed nervously.

_I had no idea_ Squall looked over at her and placed his hand on her knee under the table reassuringly, as she had done for him earlier.

Selphie was opening her mouth to speak but the loudspeaker interrupted her.

SQUALL LEONHART, PLEASE REPORT TO THE BRIDGE.

Squall sighed and stood up, placing his hand on Rinoa's shoulder as he walked away, "Meet me later."

Short but sweet. They had adjusted to each other enough over the past few months to the point where Rinoa no longer had to ask where or when he was referring to. She let him be quiet, she let him be himself and she loved him for it. He was a lucky man.

Squall made his way to the bridge, each step increasing his sense of dread. His nervous anticipation was justified as the elevator doors opened and he found Cid, Kadawaki and other-Kadawaki standing together.

_Why can't they just leave me alone?_

"Sit down, Squall," Cid gestured to one of the plush seats in the office

_If I sit, you will make me listen to you babble on for hours. _"I'm fine," Squall stood at full attention, hands clasped behind his back.

"Sit DOWN, Squall," Cid said again. Squall realized it was not a merely polite offer.

Squall sighed audibly and sat on the aforementioned chair, "I completed the required 10 weeks, sir."

"I know Squall," Cid dipped his hands into his pockets and leaned back on his desk. For a man who wore sweater vests he had a way of being very subtly threatening.

Dr. Jane Kadawaki cleared her throat, "Squall, it is in my professional opinion that ten weeks was not adequate."

_Yeah, well I don't think very much of your professional opinion._

"Given that, I am recommending that you attend a support group on trauma."

Squall's eyes widened _Are you freaking kidding me?_ He was opening his mouth to speak, but one glare from Cid shut him up. It was clear there was no arguing this.

_This is a joke._

"There is a group held weekly in Balamb, Tuesdays at 4:00."

_And let me guess, YOU are the preceptor._

"It is led by Dr. Georgina Kadawaki."

At the last comment, Squall couldn't help but have his facade crack. "You have a third sister?" The question was directed at Dr. Kadawaki #1

"Good heavens no." Kadawaki #1 said, flashing a quick grin to Squall, "She's my sister-in-law."

"Sir, I-"

_There is no way in hell you can make me do this._

_What trauma have I even been through anyway?_

_Assholes anonymous, sure I could see maybe going there, but.._

_I should have just stayed quiet and none of this would have happened._

"Squall, this is final. Period. You will complete a minimum of 10 sessions, and it MUST be signed off. If you fail to complete this I will have to relieve you of your duties."

"Fine," Squall grunted as he stood up quickly, "Are we done?"

Squall didn't wait for the answer as he strode out of the room.

Kadawaki #1 clicked her tongue, "Well, THAT went well. Nonetheless, I agree with my sister. I think this will be good for the Commander. He has seen way too much at such a young age, the poor thing must always be looking over his shoulder."

Dr. Jane Kadawaki nodded at her sister, "Yes. We will see how Mr. Leonhart does In Treatment..."

* * *

A/N: Sorry, I PROMISE this is going to get better, just wanted to get a prologue out!

Going to be VERY lighthearted with a little bit of drama. Follow Squall as he goes to his support group and eventually will learn about himself and Rinoa. :-P I might also do a few scenes of some of the other characters... we shall see.

(btw, I am not in any way trying to downplay psychiatric illness in this fic or make fun of it)

Next: Squall's first session...


	2. Week 1: Abandonment

Disclaimer: Don't own FF8

For this story any italicized words are Squall's inner monologue.

**In Treatment: Week 1**

Squall sighed and bit his tongue. _What do you want from me?_

"Squall, I just... does it make a difference if I'm here?" Rinoa and he had been going in circles with the same conversation. 'Do you want me here?' 'Yes.' 'But do YOU want me here.' 'I just answered that.' Repeat

_Of course it makes a difference. I like you here. _

"Rinoa, you're safe at Garden."

"Oh... well, I'm glad that I'm *safe*. Glad you care that I am *safe* at Garden." She seemed irritated and Squall didn't understand. Of couse he wanted her safe and close. What he didn't understand was that all Rinoa wanted to hear was that Squall wanted, no, needed her close, nothing to do with being a Sorceress, or Garden, or safety, but just love.

"Right." _Why is she so angry? It was easier when I didn't talk to people._ "Rinoa, you're being unreasonable... and I have to go."

Rinoa huffed her bangs out of her eyes and crossed her arms, "Of course, Garden awaits, right? Well, I guess I'll just sit and wait..."

Squall sighed audibly, _I don't have time for games right now, can't you see that, Rinoa? _"Wait For what?"

"Wait for what? Seriou-" Rinoa shook her head and stalked towards the door, "Just forget it!" She slammed it behind her.

_Whatever._

* * *

Squall sighed as he examined the cookie display in front of him. He had already tried the watered down coffee and was debating whether or not to try one of the depressing looking cookies.

_Sprinkles? Chocolate? Jam? I wonder if which cookie I choose will tell something about my personality? Hyne, I hate this. _Sighing in indignation, he grabbed a sugar cookie and flopped down in a folded chair, glaring at his styrofoam cup angrily.

Dr. Georgina Kadowaki cleared her throat, "All right, folks... let's begin."

The few other stragglers in the room made their way to the circle of chairs and sat down. There were about 10 of them in total. Squall looked for a connecting theme between all of the people in the group, but couldn't seem to find one. Prior to coming to this first session he had expected them all to be soldiers, however there was a girl younger than him, as well as a woman in her 50s as well as a middle aged man who did not look like he had ever seen a battle field.

Dr. Kadowaki handed Squall a sheet of paper, "Here are the rules for the group, Squall. Would you like to introduce yourself to everyone?"

_No._

Squall grunted, "I'm Squall." He expected everyone to answer with a 'Hi, Squall.' but they didn't. Kadowaki nodded to him to keep talking... apparently she wanted a life story.

_5 minutes down, 55 to go. Why is she looking at me like I am going to say something? _

Kadowaki cleared her throat, "And what brings you to our group, Squall?"

"Work."

"My, my aren't you taciturn. It's alright, participation is not mandatory... sometimes listening is all you need." Dr Kadowaki nodded at him and smiled.

_Thank Hyne._

Squall looked down at the sheet of paper, Kadowaki had handed him to glance at the rules of the group. Getting kicked out would not go over well with Cid.

Because confidentiality is essential, we expect that each person will respect and maintain the confidentiality of the group. What is said in the group is not to be repeated or discussed at any other time or place.

We are here to share our own feelings and experiences; we try not to give advice.

We each share the responsibility for making this group work.

We try to accept people, just as they are, and we avoid making judgments.

We try to give everyone an opportunity to share.

We have the right to speak and the right to remain silent.

We give supportive attention to the person who is speaking and avoid side conversations.

We avoid interrupting. If we do break in, we return the conversation to the person who was speaking.

We have the right to ask questions and the right to refuse to answer.

We try to be aware of our own feelings and talk about what is present to us now, rather than what life was like for us in the past.

We do not discuss group members who are not present.

We begin and end our meetings on time.

_Okay, it could be worse._

"By the way, everyone calls me Dr. G for 'Georgina'...Squall, feel free to jump in, okay? Now, who would like to share today?" Dr. G nodded towards a girl who looked to be in her 20s. She was pretty with long dark hair, reminded him a little bit of Rinoa except her eyes were cold and angry, Rinoa's were always warm. Dr G motioned towards the woman, "Yes, Lulu."

"I broke up with Wakka." The woman folded her arms in front of her chest.

_Please tell me I do not have to listen to this woman's relationship problems. This is worse than Irvine talking about 'cougars'._

One of the older gentlemen in the group hmphed, "Figures, Lu, you liked him too much."

Squall raised an eyebrow at the man's statement _Why would she break up with someone she likes. Wait... stop Squall, don't engage._

Dr G nodded, "Well, I can't say that I'm surprised either, Setzer. Why did you break up with him, Lulu?"

Lulu sighed, "He... it wouldn't have worked out."

Dr. G nodded, "We have to be honest with the group, Lu, or therapy isn't effective." She looked over at Squall, "Squall, you might be able to help her."

_What? I'm a soldier not a lover._

Squall shook his head, "Doubt it."

Setzer grunted towards Squall, "Ask the lady why she graces us with her presence."

_If I ask her then she will start talking again... rather not._

"Fine. What is your problem?" _Okay, that came out sort of mean. _"Um, why are you here?" Squall forced out.

Lulu gazed at her nails as if they were the most interesting things on the planet, "Well, supposedly I have 'issues' after my fiancé was killed in the war. Which is silly, I've grieved for him, it's been 10 years."

_What does that have to do with trauma? Am I in the right group?_

Dr. G nodded understandingly, "And have you had another relationship since him, Lulu?"

"Well.. yes and no. I just don't feel like dating anyone, I don't see the point. Wakka was the first person that got even close" Lulu said.

Dr. G looked over at Squall pointedly, "Lulu, why do you not see a point in *getting close* to anyone?"

_Why is she looking at me when she's talking to that girl?_

Lulu shifted in her seat, "Because... Wakka will just leave." she finally said softly.

Unexpected by all (except maybe Dr. G who somehow seemed clairvoyant) Squall spoke, "You'll end up alone again." _Did I just say that outloud?_

A small smile graced Lulu's lips, "Yeah. He'll leave and I'll have to feel that pain all over again so... it's easier to just not get close, I guess." She laughed a bit to herself, "I should be thanking him for even putting up with me."

_Putting up with..? Does Rinoa have to put up with a lot being with me? I guess I can be cold sometimes. Am I like Lulu? Was I that put off by closeness... because of 'Sis? _

_Was that why she was so angry this morning? Because I don't seem to understand how patient she is with me? She wanted to know that I *wanted* her there... is it that simple?_

_Wait a second... I thought this was supposed to be about Ultimecia._

_I hate this._

As if reading his mind, Dr. G spoke again, "That was quite insightful, Lulu. Thank you for sharing. You see Squall, 'trauma' is a relative turn. You don't have to hold your dying friend in your arms, like one of our other members here, to have a traumatic event. Trauma is different to different people, but we all tend to react the same way. You become stuck. Lulu, for example was so shaken by her fiancé's death that she cannot allow anyone to get close to her. Cloud over here, watched his best friend die in war. Rydia lost her mother in a fire at a young age. Magus lost his favorite cat."

_A cat? Seriously?_

"It's relative to the person, you see. You as a soldier, may be able to handle a lot more than someone else in terms of war, but might be quite traumatized by losing your favorite sword."

"Gunblade," Squall corrected her. _I would be pretty upset if I lost Lionheart, probably lock myself in my room for a week. _

Dr. G smiled, "Gunblade. But the point remains. Lulu, your homework is to talk to Wakka and tell him why you are afraid. In fact, that is an assignment for all of you." She glanced at her watch, "Oh my, time went fast. That's it for the week. I will see you all next week. It was a very productive session."

_Time's up already? That went faster than I thought it would._

Lulu walked up to Squall and gave him a small smile, "Thanks. When someone important leaves you, guess you push everyone away, huh?"

Squall blinked _I never should have talked. Now this girl will think we are 'friends' or something. _"I guess." _Why is she still looking at me? Am I supposed to say more? Fine._ "But, your fiancé didn't leave by choice. He died." _Smooth, Squall. Way to rub salt in her wound._

Lulu shook her head, "Yeah. So then maybe I don't have an excuse anymore. He didn't choose to leave but was taken... have a good night, Squall."

_Lulu's fiancé was taken. He didn't leave. "Taken"... like 'Sis. She didn't choose to leave me, she was taken away. But, I've spent years pushing people away in case I get left again..._

* * *

Rinoa looked up from the book she was reading, curled up under a blanket on Squall's couch, apparently her anger from earlier in the day was gone, but Squall could tell that she wasn't completely relaxed, "How was it?" Rinoa asked.

Squall shrugged, "Could've been worse."

Rinoa placed a ribbon in the book and closed it carefully. As she did so, Squall noticed a band-aid on her inner arm and frowned. Rinoa, catching his frown sighed, "Odine took blood today."

Squall sat down next to her and after a moment of intense internal debate, placed an arm around her shoulder, "How was it?" He repeated her earlier question.

Rinoa smiled and scooted closer to him, pulling the blanket over his legs to share her warmth, "Could've been worse. I don't like being an experiment, but... I'm learning how to control my powers too."

Squall nodded _If Odine so much as looks at her the wrong way..._ "Um Rinoa?"

"Yes?"

Squall cleared his throat and averted his eyes, "Thank you."

"Huh? For what?" Rinoa cocked her head at him.

"Um, being with me. Being patient. You know. With me. Thank you for staying."

Rinoa smiled and nuzzled her head into the nook of Squall's arm, "You're welcome... but you don't need to thank me, being with you is the best decision I've ever made. Thank YOU for being with me and.. for saying that. It means a lot Squall."

Squall smiled and turned to kiss the top of Rinoa's head, "Lucky..." he mumbled softly.

Rinoa smirked hearing his words, "Yes we are." She responded softly.

"Rinoa?" Squall squeezed her shoulder lightly, "Don't tell anyone this but, therapy wasn't ALL bad."

Rinoa chuckled and poked Squall in the ribs, eliciting a soft chuckle from him, "Your secret is safe with me. They always are, oh stoic one."

Squall leaned back on the couch and pulled Rinoa with him, closing his eyes. The words had come so easily to him and clearly they had made Rinoa happy. It was so easy to make her happy. He had never realized how un-complicated it could be. He was happy to be with her and just telling her that fact made her happy. _Who would have thought it was that easy?_ All because Lulu said she should have thanked Wakka, or whatever his name was. _Therapy wasn't ALL bad._

_It wasn't all bad at all._

**INTERLUDE:**

"Quisty, did you have any IDEA the sodium content of a hot dog? Did you KNOW? HOW CAN GARDEN SERVE THIS TO US? We probably all have super high blood pressure!" Zell was waving his arms emphatically as he spoke.

"It's a conspiracy, Zell! I'm with you!"

Quistis sighed and pinched her nose, "Don't encourage him, Selphie..."

Zell gave Selphie a high five, "Al-RIGHT, Selph! Seriously though, you know that you shouldn't drink all that coffee either, right?"

Quistis' hand paused in front of the mug in front of her, "Zell... as glad as I am that you are learning about healthy eating in your therapy, please... don't try to control my diet."

Irvine smirked as Quistis used the word 'control' "Hey, Quisty?"

"What, Irvine?"

Irvine lifted up his hand to his ear like a telephone, "There's a call for you from 'Kettle', he says, 'Hey Pot, you're black.'"

Quistis' eyebrow twitched, "I'm going to kill Kadowaki..."

* * *

A/N: I'm alive! This chapter was delayed and I'm still not completely happy with it. Ah well. Must...get over... being... perfectionist (explodes)

READ AND REVIEW (yay!) pleassseeeeeee

Hopefully my next update won't take so long, I'm almost done with another chapter of 'Return' too..(if anyone still reads it)


	3. Week 2: Projection

Disclaimer: I do not own FF8

A/N at end...

**In Treatment: Projection**

Squall sighed as he stared at the depressing cookie display once again. _Sprinkles? I really want sprinkles, but it wouldn't look good for Garden if I'm eating a rainbow cookie._ He narrowed his eyes _I could do jam... no Zell would do jam, it seems weak._

Sighing dejectedly, he picked up the plain sugar cookie once again and sat down in the folding chair next to Lulu. She was... smiling. It was creepy on her.

Dr G sat next to him and the mild chatter that was still lingering in the room died down.

"Sugar cookie, huh?" Dr G nodded in Squall's direction, "You obviously are lonely."

Squall almost spit out his watered down decaf _DECAF, for the love of Hyne_ coffee. _I KNEW she was judging my cookie selection._

Dr. G chuckled at his reaction, "No, Squall, cookie choice does not reflect your personality." She lifted up one of the fudge cookies and took a bite, "You see... I'm easily 30 pounds over weight, but I eat the most caloric cookie here. I'm sure you are thinking, 'oh wow, that woman shouldn't be eating that' but you see, I. Don't. Care. I like fudge cookies."

Squall blinked, "Ok."

_What is she talking about. _

Dr. G smiled, finishing her cookie, "Why don't you get the cookie you *really* want."

"I'm fine." _Stop talking about the cookie, everyone is looking._

"Sure." Dr. G cleared her throat again, "Who here is aware of the properties of psychoanalysis?"

_Oh God, is she going to hypnotize us?_

A rather artistic looking girl raised her hand before speaking, "Freud thought that people's subconcious would speak for their inner desires and fears and used a technique to draw it out."

Dr. G nodded, "Yes, Relm." She didn't speak further, but merely continued to stare at the girl uncomfortably.

Relm shifted in her seat, "Um... maybe. I guess."

_Why isn't she responding?_

Relm sighed, "Okay.. well I guess I was wrong. You must think I'm really uneducated, Dr. G." The girl laughed nervously.

A smile spread over Dr. G's face, "Why would you say that, Relm? I said nothing about your intelligence."

"You're looking at me just like Grandpa!" Relm blurted out.

Dr G smirked, "That, folks, is psychoanalysis. If I present you with a blank screen and no response, you will project your fears to interpret my silence. Because I didn't respond, Relm assumed that I thought the worst... You project what you fear in yourself. Relm perceives judgement from her Grandfather, so because I did not give her any indication of my feelings, she assumed I was judging her... even went as far as to mention her Grandfather. Bingo, I know her fears and her subconcious."

_That is... brilliant_

"That being said, Relm. You are correct regarding Freud, and I think you are quite brilliant, and I truly hope I do not look like your Grandfather."

Relm laughed lightly, a small blush on her cheeks.

Dr G looked at Squall, "No one cares what cookie you choose. No one is judging you. You are afraid of what everyone is thinking and ASSUMING you know. I have news, dear, you can't read minds."

_My girlfriend can._

Squall shrugged, "No. But I'm a soldier, I'm trained to read people."

"Everyone, please name an adjective for Squall." Dr. G continued.

_Prick. Jerk. Cold. Loner. Angry... Scared._

"Quiet." "Smart." "Thoughtful." "Cute." Squall's eyes almost bulged out of their sockets.

"And if Squall were eating a sprinkled cookie, what would people say?"

_Pansy. Undisciplined. Jerk who likes colorful confections._

"Quiet." "Smart" "Thoughtful" "Likes Sprinkles."

Dr. G smiled. "Hm, thank you everyone. You see, Squall, no one cares. You don't need to be afraid that people are judging you all the time. We are too busy afraid of what people think to ever enjoy ourselves."

* * *

It was raining outside. Rain in Balamb was a nice reprise from the normal dry heat climate of the island. Squall ran in to the Garden from his session, shaking his hair free of the small amount of water that had caught him. He gave a curt nod to some of the cadets who were saluting him as he headed straight towards the Quad. He assumed Rinoa would be there, she said she was going to help Selphie rehearse for the Garden Festival after all.

By the time he made it to the Quad, the rain had become more steady. Squall peered out from the overhand to find Rinoa, standing in the rain watching the stage from across the Quad as they rehearsed their music. She was soaked through but... laughing.

"Rinoa!"

She didn't seem to hear him, absorbed in the music.

_Dammit, I am not getting my favorite leather wet._ Shrugging off his jacket, Squall trotted through the rain towards Rinoa, "Rinoa!"

She turned and smiled. _Perfect_ Rinoa jogged towards him, "Oh! Sorry, I was listening to the music I didn't even hear you!" Rinoa grabbed his arm, tugging him back towards the overhang.

"It's raining." Squall stated matter-of-fact _Good one, Captain Obvious._

Rinoa laughed as they made it to the overhang, the waltz still lolling softly in the background, "I know. It feels good doesn't it? It's been so hot!"

_Why is it so easy for her? She doesn't care that she's standing in the rain?_

Squall offered Rinoa a half-smile before he uncharacteristically grabbed her hand, slowly pulling her into position to step in tune with the waltz that was being played in the background.

_One Two Three, One Two Three..._

"Squall, what are..." Rinoa looked up at him and fell into step, following his lead in the dance, "You know there are cadets right over there...right?"

Years ago, even weeks ago, Squall would have been hard pressed to dance at an actual ball, let alone at a rehearsal, outside, under an overhang in the middle of a summer storm, but..."I don't care." Squall said softly, turning Rinoa into a spin.

Rinoa flashed him the most brilliant smile he had ever seen.

_Sprinkles. Next time I am definitely going with the sprinkles._

* * *

INTERLUDE: SELPHIE

Selphie shifted nervously in her seat, spinning one of the toys meant for pediatric patient's in her hand, the small plastic balls banging loudly against one another.

"Selphie, from everything you've been saying, it seems like your happiness is very...ah.. dependent," The doctor started, adjusting his glasses on his nose.

The spinning stopped and Selphie frowned, "Why is it, like, bad to have friends? I'm happy when they are happy! I like making people happy with the festival! You're going, right, Doc?"

"Selphie, you're changing the subject."

Selphie's smile grew wide as she tossed the toy to the side, pulling her legs up into the stair and crossing them, "I comissioned a SONG this year, I'm so excited, it's a take on Rinny's mom's song, you know?"

"Selphie-"

"The look on her face is going to be PRICELESS. I'm going to make Squall dance again too, I already have the greatest plan to force him into it, you see..."

"SELPHIE"

Selphie stopped, mouth closing, as she retracted back into her chair sheepishly, somewhat like a dog being disciplined. "Sorry... I um... am really excited about the festival."

"I know, that's wonderful, Selphie, but you're avoiding the subject." The doctor sighed, folding his hands on his lap, "Loving your friends is wonderful, but you can't base all of your emotions on other people's personal happiness... you have to take some from yourself."

Selphie frowned, shifting again in her seat and pulling her legs underneath her, "Um..."

"See? Selphie, you feel bad about yourself because you sense disappointment from me. I'm not disappointed at all. Selphie, you can't control other people's joy. This week I want you to do something for you. Only you. Find joy in something external of other's."

The look on Selphie's face brightened once again, "I'm planning the festival! I look forward to that every year!"

The doctor shook his head, "No. Not planning an event. Just for you."

Selphie bit her lip, nodding silently. Thinking of something 'selfish' to do should be obvious, yet... she couldn't come up with anything.

Quistis would have gotten her nails done.

Rinoa would have spent the day in the spa reading a book.

Irvine would have gone to the shooting range.

Zell would go snow-boarding.

Squall would do something with leather.

What would Selphie do? She honestly didn't know.

* * *

A/N: Wow! Thanks for all the positive response for this fic! Really surprised. This chapter was really hard to write, especially Selphie... but I wanted to start exploring the other characters a little more. I'm thinking of continuing that.

Sorry if Squall was a touch OOC, I'm a bit worried about that.

R&R!


	4. Week 3: Daddy Issues

Sorry for the delay! I'm alive, I promise! A little pre-amble, this chapter is a bit... heavy. I'm not totally happy with it but, well.. there you go.

As always, italicized in this fic are solely for Squall's wonderful inner monologue. :)

Disclaimer: I, of course, do not own final fantasy. None of them, sadly.

**In Treatment, Week 3: Daddy Issues**

"Stop moving, Rin," Quistis mumbled, readjusting the other girl's hand on the towel.

"Sorry, Quisty," Rinoa sighed, glancing down at the painting work Quistis was placing on her finger nails.

"What's with you anyway, Rinoa? This is wiggly, even for you." Quistis asked, dipping the brush into the red polish.

Rinoa frowned, "Well... you guys know that I've been having to see Dr. Odine, right?"

Quistis nodded and glanced towards Selphie, who was rifling through the bag of nail polish. Selphie glanced up, "Did something happen, Rinny?"

Rinoa shook her head, "Not quite. But, well, it turns out Dr. Odine is also a therapist, and he has been doing a lot of, um, really intense therapy with me."

Quistis grip on Rinoa's hand involuntarily tightened. Rinoa winced slightly and Quistis let up, "Sorry..."

"It's fine." Rinoa smiled at the blond, "Anyway, um, well, I'm not quite sure how to ask this, so I'll just...uh."

Selphie placed a reassuring hand on her friend's shoulder, "Rin. We are your best friends. It's fine, whatever it is, okay?"

Rinoa nodded, "Ok well," Rinoa chewed on her bottom lip thoughtfully. No matter how she phrased it, the following question was not going to come out well. The best course of action was probably to just blurt it out, so she did: "Do you think Squall is like Caraway?"

Quistis let out a choking sound and was very glad that she did not have the brush on Rinoa's hand at the moment or she probably would have painted a large red stripe along her entire hand. "Ah, not to sound rude but...Where is this coming from?"

Rinoa leaned back in her seat, looking at her nails in the air, "This is pretty, Quistis," she murmured, handing her other hand to the blonde, "I guess, well, Odine said something about how I looked for someone like Caraway because of my bad relationship with him. Like how we all end up looking for our parents, or something."

Quistis hmmed softly, "Well, they are both in the military."

"And anal retentive," Selphie piped in.

Rinoa sighed, "So even after all this time trying to get away from Caraway, now I'm dating him? That's really gross."

Quistis shook her head, "No, Rin, it's like you are trying to repair the relationship in a way. Squall might remind you of the things you love about Caraway. I think that's natural. Plus, it's like you get to fix the mistakes of the past through Squall. I know you don't get along with your father, but he isn't an awful person, you've said so yourself. I mean, you could have picked someone with traits similar to my adoptive father, then you'd be in real trouble."

Rinoa blinked rapidly, Quistis was not a person who talked about her life in her adopted home. All Rinoa knew was that Quistis had come to Garden when she became a teenager. Rinoa wanted the girl to keep opening up, but was afraid that if she said the wrong thing, Quistis wouldn't continue. In a lot of ways, Quistis and Squall were similar that way, they were very hard people to get to know. Rinoa decided that the best course of action was to mirror how she typically dealt with Squall in these situations, so Rinoa chose to stay silent.

The silence must have been the most therapuetic response, because Quistis continued, "As you know, I also have been continuing with some therapy. One of the requirements for me to be re-instated as an Instructor" Quistis lowered her eyes, "My therapist and I have been speaking about something similar; about why I'm controlling. She mentioned that I might try to control things to make up for the chaos of my home. That a lot of adult behavior is in response to trauma or chaos. Humans are quite reactionary creatures."

Selphie sat next to Quistis, giving her a reassuring squeeze, "Were the Trepes that bad?"

Quistis shook her head, "No. Dad was just... chaotic, in and out, he drank, he was always in trouble at work for something... basically wanted to get away with as much as possible without getting caught. I just wished Mom would leave, but she was so convinced she could fix him. Finally, I just left, or rather, went to Garden."

Selphie raised an eyebrow, "So, Mr Trepe was a man who was defiant of authority? Who do we know like that?"

Quistis narrowed her eyes over at Selphie as she started to paint Rinoa's left hand, "Selphie, if you say Seifer I will Blitz you into next week. Seifer is nothing like Mr. Trepe. Yes, they both are charming and slightly anti-establishment..."

"Quistis, Seifer may have made bad decisions and he's rough around the edges, but he's not a bad guy." Rinoa supported her. Rinoa turned towards Selphie, "What about you, Selph? What was your adoptive family like?"

Selphie turned her head towards the nail polish selection, "What do you think? Cherry Bomb Red?"

Rinoa shrugged, "Sure. So, Selph, what about the Tilmitts?"

"What about Jungle Tree Green?"

"Selph, stop avoiding the question."

"They were fine." Selphie shrugged, "BOOYAKAAAA Perfect Bubble Gum Pink!"

Quistis rolled her eyes at Selphie's poor attempt at deflection, "Rinoa, to answer your question, from what I understand, Selphie's parents got divorced when Selphie was about 11, which was part of the reason she ended up at Garden."

Selphie huffed loudly and crossed her arms, purposefully looking away from Quistis as she spoke, "Thank you, Instructor Nosey."

Quistis closed her eyes, "Selph... come on, we fought a war together, if you don't trust your sisters in arms, who can you trust?"

Rinoa nodded, "She has a point."

Selphie crossed her leg away from Quistis and kept her arms crossed, but shifted her eyes towards Quistis while still trying to overly portray her irritation nonverbally, "Fine. Ed cheated. All the time. He left for days, hit mom, would bring women to the house and she would just put up with it. Would say stupid stuff like 'well, you don't see him when we're alone, I know he loves me.'. I mean, Hyne, how needy was she? Honestly, I couldn't have been happier when they broke up. So there, okay?"

Quistis and Rinoa remained silent.

Selphie chewed on her bottom lip, slowly uncrossing her legs and facing forward, "I guess. Mom was unbearable. Cried all the time, needy, clingy. She was so helpless. When Dad was around she would go from crying to angry to loving. She would open all his mail, like called his coworkers to ask about him. I don't know, I mean, I'm sure he was aching to get out of the relationship."

Rinoa opened her mouth to speak, but was silenced by a look from Quistis.

Selphie finally looked towards the other girls, "Still. He made her worse too. I mean... she just wanted to make him happy thats all. No matter how neurotic she was. And... no one deserves to be treated like garbage."

"No, Selphie, of course not. You didn't deserve to have to see it either." Quistis said softly.

Selphie was very quiet, unlike the bubbly girl they all knew, "My shrink thinks thats why I try to please everyone and why... why I chose someone who cheats. I don't think I deserve any better, but, I'm just so desperate to make everyone happy. Maybe... because maybe if Dad was happy he wouldn't have been that way."

"You make me happy, Selphie. Just by existing." Rinoa offered the brunette a small smile.

"Me too. You don't need to do anything else." Quistis smiled as well.

Selphie shook her head, "ah.. thanks guys. But enough of this mooshy stuff. I want to know something juicy..."

Rinoa and Quistis simultaneously sweatdropped

"So...ladies. Have either of you ever, you know, thought about Squall and Seifer..." Selphie started.

Her companions worst nightmare had come true, Selphie could indeed shock them on a whole new level. "Selphie!" Quistis started, "That's disgusting!"

Selphie blinked, "What? What's disgusting about thinking about them having a gunblade rematch."

Quistis quickly backpeddled, "Oh, ah... um, right I thought you.. I mean I wouldn't want them to get, ah, hurt."

Selphie still looked confused, "I don't get it."

Rinoa smirked, "She thought you were implying they, ah, you know. YOU KNOW."

Selphie giggled, "EW. Quistis, get your mind out of the gutter! WHY would I think that. I mean yeah, I was gonna say them having a rematch wearing nothing but Garden-issue Speedos, but... yours is so much worse!"

Quistis facepalmed.

* * *

_Hyne this guy talks a lot._

The blonde that had tagged along with Lulu this week had been monopolizing the entire evening.

_Lulu looks like she might cast a spell on him. She is really scary._ _How is he STILL talking? He reminds me of Zell but 20x worse._

The "blonde" was waving his hands emphatically as he finished, "Worst off is everyone is all 'Sir Jecht this, Sir Jecht that, even my GIRLFRIEND. Like he is some amazing guy, when in reality he was this loser Dad that left my mom and me."

Lulu pinched the bridge of her nose, "Tidus, please do not make me regret bringing you..."

Dr. G adjusted the glasses on her face, "Well, this is an important topic. You are angry that people seem to like your father and feel that they aren't seeing him for who he really is... which is a person who hurt you deeply."

_Join the club. I'm the only person in the world who thinks that not only is my dad a horrible dad but also a complete moron._

Tidus shrugged, "Yes. He was a drunk and a jerk. People all think he's great, it just makes me so... so..."

_Angry._

Dr. G glanced over at Squall seemingly reading his mind, "It's often hard for us to realize our parents are capable of growth just like we are. To us, they are supposed to be solid and constant. Sadly, that isn't always the case. Parents, are regretebly...human. But, people _can _change. That being said, it sounds like your father was not there for you."

_Laguna didn't change. He just avoided responsibility. Was thrown into Presidency. Still just lets other people do the work. He's still the same._

Dr. G continued, "Relm, why don't you share your experience?"

The young artistic girl nodded, "Sure. Um... so most of you know my dad, Shadow, came back into my life when I was 13."

_Shadow? What kind of name is that? What is with the people in this group?_

"Naturally, I was hesitant to trust him," Relm continued

_Well, his name WAS Shadow, I wouldn't trust him either. _

"Anyways, I was really mad. I didn't want to get to know him. Dr G told me that the best thing to do was just tell him how I felt. So... I did. I yelled at him. Like, really yelled. And... he still came back. Once I let him know how hurt I was, I was able to think about letting him in. Especially when he didn't run away at my feelings. He hasn't let me down yet."

_So what, we just forgive everyone? Oh, whoops, I became a Sorceress and ruined your life, children. Oh, that's okay, Matron, I don't care that you killed a bunch of my friends, you're forgiven... Please._

Relm smiled a bit, "Don't get me wrong. He completely failed as a dad for 13 years, he was selfish and he will be the first one to admit how messed up he was, but... people can change."

_Even if you've changed, Laguna, I can't forgive you for leaving Raine._

Dr. G nodded, "So, the best thing you did for yourself, Relm, was to allow yourself to be angry and hurt and express those feelings, correct?"

Lulu's annoying friend spoke up again, "My old man wouldn't even CARE if I confronted him."

Dr. G nodded, "It's not about getting an answer. It's about allowing yourself to vocalize your pain. It's important to get it out."

_Vocalize...your pain? That's what the training center is for._

* * *

Some time later, Squall had killed his 20th Grat in the Training Center. His brow was damn with perspiration and he felt that a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Despite that feeling, however, there was still a gnawing pit at the bottom of his stomach.

_Dammit, Dr. G. Why did you have to bring up fathers? The thought of... that MAN. _

Squall shook his head and went in search of another Grat.

_I wonder if Caraway was that bad? Rinoa only ever said he was really military, controlling, into rules, never said how he felt..._

_Wait a second..._

_Quiet, into rules, emotionally void._

_Oh my Hyne... am I fulfilling some really twisted Oedipus Complex? No wait, he was in love with his mother, right? Does it work with fathers too? Oh God, where is Selphie, she reads that stuff..._

Squall shook his head further, attempting to stop his train of thoughts from becoming even more uncomfortable, when the Grat he had set his sights on suddenly disappeared in front of him, blasted away by a Firaga spell.

"There you are..."

_Rinoa..._

Rinoa jumped down from a rock behind him, landing softly by his side, "I was looking all over for you."

He saw the girl's freshly painted nails _She must have been with Quistis and Selphie_, "Well, here I am." Squall muttered.

Rinoa gave him a smile, trying to warm him up, "So here you are."

_Why isn't she talking? She always does the talking._

Squall sighed, "Did you need something?"

Rinoa shook her head, "No."

Squall began to tap his foot impatiently. Rinoa obviously wanted something and had something on her mind, or else she wouldn't have taken the time to track him down.

"I'm glad you aren't like Caraway." Rinoa finally said.

"Huh?"

"If you were a Dad, I mean, I know you would be there. You already are there for me no matter what."

_She's not trying to tell me... that's not even possible! We haven't.. _"Um... okay?"

"Sorry, this isn't coming out right." Rinoa frowned.

_Obviously_

Rinoa toed the ground nervously before letting out a sound that sounded half like a laugh and half like a gasp, "Wow.. um, what I'm trying to say is. I love you. For you. Just you, okay?"

Squall blinked rapidly. _She's never said that. Rinoa..._

Squall opened his mouth to speak but his mouth was dry and his tongue felt heavy. _Dr. G said to vocalize..._ Squall cleared his throat but nothing came. Instead he wrapped an arm around Rinoa and pulled her towards his chest, burying his face in her hair. _You know, Rin... I just can't say it yet. I will, someday._

Rinoa just smiled into his chest. She hadn't expected him to respond. She knew the truth anyway. The way his arms were clinging to her for dear life spoke it louder than any words could anyway.

* * *

Later that day Squall paced in front of his desk in his office restlessly. The group session had been playing in his mind.

_Laguna..._

Squall grumbled and finally picked up the receiver.

"President Loire. It's Squall... yes...well... no that's not why I call- no I am not coming to visit... No... Listen, Laguna, I think what you did to Raine was horrible... no I don't want to hear it. I don't think you were a good husband or a good Dad... No, that's it."

Squall hung up the phone. He had just spoke more words to Laguna than he had ever before. Even though they had been harsh, it felt oddly liberating. For the first time since Laguna had told him about his parentage, he actually felt ready to listen to Laguna's side of the story.

_Not quite yet_.

For now though, he went in search of Rinoa. Rinoa, who had the ability to make everything seem and feel simple, lucid and invigorating at the same time. Maybe someday, he would be able to find the words to explain just how much that meant to him. For now, he planned on just showing her instead.

* * *

A/N: ugh. Again, sorry, it was heavy, not quite sure what happened, fic kind of ran away from me there.


	5. Week 4: Daddy Issues Part 2

WOW! Two updates in 1 week. What can I say, I felt sad leaving things so unsettled between father and son.

As usual, any italics are Squall's inner monologue, (gotta love that guy's mind).

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Final Fantasies... sadly

**In Treatment, Week 4: Daddy Issues Part II**

"So, I called Caraway."

The comment broke Squall out of the deep concentration he was placing on TPS reports on his desk, "What?"

"I called Caraway." Rinoa stated again.

_This... is not going to end well._

Rinoa had come to his office unexpectedly at 3pm on a Tuesday. For starters, that was abnormal, she had learned to respect his need for time and work and was good about giving him space. She only came if it was an emergency, or if she was bringing him a much needed lunch (which he would never admit to enjoying outloud). The fact that she came in was the first hint that something was off. Her mentioning Caraway in the first breath she took after bursting in the door was the second clue.

_Please don't let me say the wrong thing_.

_This is exactly why I've avoided having a girlfriend. When I tend to open my mouth I have a way of saying the perfectly thing to piss someone off._

_What did Dr. G say? Permissive silence? Yes... that can be my excuse. Silence is therapeutic...yeah..._

"I called Caraway," Rinoa said for the third time, clearly trying to steal herself as well as illicit something from Squall.

_Okay... I guess she needs encouragement?_

"Oh yeah?" Squall finally said, still sitting at his desk.

_That was pathetic, good one, Squall._

Rinoa continued, "I told him that I didn't hate him."

Rinoa telling Caraway she didn't hate him was about as close to saying 'I love you, Dad,' as it was going to get. A huge win on Caraway's part. Squall blinked, willing the TPS reports to be more interesting, to distract him from this uncomfortable conversation, "That's good." He finally surmised.

_Is it good? Or am I supposed to tell her he's a jerk? Is this a trick?_

"Yeah. I figured... well, I don't and... I'm not mad anymore, so..." Rinoa mumbled something else and then opened up a stray book on Squall's desk pointedly. It was about as comfortable for her as it was for Squall.

_"The Military History of Ancient Centra"? Yeah right, Rinoa, you're about as interested in that as I am in your book on "The Fashion of Shoes." Okay, let's try this again._

"Uh, that's good," Squall repeated, "I mean, it was probably hard, so... Good." Short and sweet, but to the point.

Rinoa offered him a small but honest smile, "Thanks, Squall... it was, but I feel better."

_Phew._

Rinoa glanced at the book she had opened, made a face and placed it back on the desk. She skipped around the desk and gave Squall a quick kiss on the cheek, "Seriously, thanks. I'll let you work, kay? I know you don't like being bothered at this time..."

Squall shook his head, willing the blush on his cheeks to disappear, "You're never a bother."

_Anything is better than TPS reports._

"I'll see you for dinner?" Rinoa asked hopefully.

Squall nodded at her and she gave him a bright smile before exiting the office.

_If she can say that to Caraway..._

* * *

Lulu's annoying friend was back. Just what Squall wanted. Not only had he given semi-useful advice to Cloud regarding giving orders more tactfully, but he had also finally gotten to the point of eating a sprinkled cookie in front of other people; now there was this loud mouthed needy guy ruining the dynamic of the group. Dr. G would tell him to assume the best in people and try to be empathetic.

_How can I be empathetic to a guy who is complaining about his dad despite having an apparently beautiful smart girlfriend, successful blitzball career and carries an awesome sword? I learned a long time ago that I have no right to complain._

Dr. G cleared her throat, "I want to continue with our conversation from last week." She eyed Squall and Tidus carefully, "In case you weren't here, we were talking about fathers."

_Great._

"Last week I told you how important it is to express your pain and feelings towards people you are angry at. We were talking about this in the context of parents, as a lot of the anger we hold onto into adulthood stems from strained relationships with them. Being able to express your anger is important not only for you, but also if you want to ever repair the relationship. This, however, is only step one." Dr. G continued, pausing to nibble on a fudge cookie.

_Step one? You didn't tell me it was only a step one... Step one was bad enough! I would rather listen to Quistis go over architecture plans for E-Garden while Zell dribbles hot dog crumbs on them than call Laguna again._

Dr. G brushed some crumbs off her lap, "Step two is...Forgiveness..."

Squall's eyebrow twitched.

_That's bullshit..._

"Before you all yell at me, let me reassure you that forgiveness is not to assuage the guilt of the offending party. Forgiveness is allowing yourself to be free from an anger that will eat you up. You forgive for yourself, not for your parents," Dr. G continued.

Tidus scoffed, "My old man isn't even sorry! He thinks I deserved to be left!"

_Well, if you were this whiny at home, I don't blame him._

Dr. G shook her head, "The person doesn't have to be sorry to be forgiven. Like I said, it is allowing yourself to be free of the _burden _of anger. Anger is exhausting, it ages you, it stresses you, it prevents you from getting close to other people. Your anger isn't hurting you father, Tidus, it's only hurting you."

_Laguna better care that I'm angry._

Tidus frowned, "Yeah, I guess he never really cared that I hated him so much... even recently I'm-I'm not sure. Trying to be better at blitzball, being strong, never crying, all of that so that he would notice me, think I'm good enough, wanna be around... and then I wouldn't hate him anymore."

Dr. G nodded, "Your anger drove your decisions in adulthood. Being angry at him allowed HIM to control your decisions... you never were really free."

_I wish Laguna never had told me, then I wouldn't feel this. I hate this. If I didn't know I could just pretend they were both dead._

Tidus pounded his fist, "Dammit! Even in another world that prick had control?! That's..." He got up suddenly and paced the room before taking a deep breath and sitting down. Lulu eyed him carefully, then slowly placed a hand on his arm, giving a single pat before retracting it. It seemed to calm Tidus down slightly.

Squall's eyes almost bulged at the rare show of "affection" from Lulu. _That's probably as comforting as Lulu can get!. I wonder what her fiancé is like... do they just sit in black leather with arms crossed, not touching, speaking in monotone voices criticizing everything? Wait... that sounds familiar._

Dr. G waited for Tidus to be completely calm before she continued, "Thank you for sharing, Tidus, I know that was difficult." She paused pointedly, "Step 2 is harder than step one. Forgiveness and letting go. You have to let go to be completely free of your anger as well as the control you are allowing your parents to still have. You are adults, allowing your parents to push your decisions, even if its subconscious, means you haven't graduated into being an adult. You can't be successful at life or relationships operating with a child's brain."

_Laguna, why did you have to tell me? You made it worse... didn't you? Would I rather not know?_

Dr. G paused, glancing at each of the group members, "You have to let go, If you don't it will slowly kill you."

The green haired girl spoke up, "Tellah," she said softly, "Her anger towards Golbez ended up killing him..." She seemed to say it to herself more than anyone else.

Dr G smiled at her, "Yes, Rydia. Your friend, Tellah." She turned towards Squall, sensing his disquiet, "Do you have anything to share, Squall?"

_Can she read my mind or something?_

Squall shifted in his seat, "No."

_Yes._

Dr G arched an eyebrow, "Are you sure?"

Squall frowned, "Did step one, don't think I can do two."

_Don't ask me anything else._

Dr G smiled, "Admission of helplessness is a step towards recovery."

_Who said anything about helpless! I'll show her helpless!_

"I know that was hard for you to share, Squall, and we all appreciate the effort," Dr. G continued, and Squall noticed many of the other group members offering him small smiles, Tidus even gave him a 'thumbs up' _Hyne, he is annoying_. "If you need to talk about it more, of course you may. You know that you have a source of encouragement here and examples as to the efficacy of what I am gently trying to nudge you towards," Dr G smiled warmly at him.

_"Gentle" nudge? I would hate to see your definition of rough. You make Quistis look like she has a feather's touch._

* * *

**Interlude: Irvine and Quistis**:

"So then, get this, Quisty, Selphie just throws her paper mache on the floor, tells me she is 'sort of annoyed', looks like she's about to cry... I start to say something and she just says 'please don't be upset and don't leave me' and leaves the room."

Irvine had his boots up on Quistis' desk and was smoking a hand rolled cigarette in the office Quistis and Squall shared. Quistis was listening, trying not to tell him to move his feet, and kept readjusting her stapler's position on her meticulous desk.

"I mean, she was yelling at me for just TALKING to this girl, I wasn't even doing anything. She goes from all angry to all needy real sudden. Then... and get this..." Irvine continued.

Quistis eyed his boots carefully and bit her lip, trying not to yell at him, trying desperately to not be controlling, "Irvine, I don't feel comfortable talking about Selphie when she isn't here..."

Irvine caught the direction she was looking and pulled his shoes off her desk, leaving a mud stain in their wake. Quistis let out a sigh of relief. Irvine smirked, "I get it, I do. You know I love Self, I just... it doesn't come natural to a guy like me."

Quistis rolled her eyes, "Stop hurting her." She said as un-bossy as she could manage. "Reassure her you aren't going to leave if she gets upset with you."

Irvine blinked, "She knows I love her and won't leave her..."

Quistis raised an eyebrow, "Does she?"

Irvine hmmed, "You know she called me a narcissist?" He seemed pleased with himself, "Maybe she's not used to a guy with so much confidence."

Quistis pinched the bridge of her nose, "Irvine, that's not a compliment..." she mumbled before marching over towards him, plucking the cigarette out of his hand, extinguishing it and hastily spraying Febreeze in his direction. There was only so much control a woman could give up.

Squall chose that moment to storm into the office, and the look on his face quickly scattered all other occupants.

* * *

Squall sat down at his desk and stared at his phone for what seemed like an eternity. He knew that he should probably call Laguna after last week. The man had sent him about 100 emails in the span of the past 7 days _Ok, that's unfair, it was only like.. 40_.

When push came to shove, Squall didn't really HATE Laguna. He was angry, but he also deep down knew it was a mistake and not malicious. He was torn between being glad knowing he wasn't an orphan, and also feeling annoyed that the knowledge seemed to throw him into a return to adolescence. _I can't be angry at Laguna for ruining the past... isn't that what happened with Ultimecia?_

_Alright. Second step..._

Squall picked up the phone and dialed Esthar, silently praying that Laguna was somewhere else.

_Let it be Kiros, let it be Kiros..._

(Hello? Squall?)

_How did he know?_

"Yes." Squall answered.

(Caller ID said Balamb Garden, I was hoping...)

"It's me." Squall said again. _That was taciturn, even for me._

(I'm so glad you called, since you called the other week, I've been really... I know you don't want to hear my side of the story. I know I failed you. Honestly-)

"I'm not mad anymore." _I'm not... the anger is pointless. It doesn't mean I have to suddenly let the guy in my life._

(Oh. I... I'm sorry, Squall. I didn't know you were alive. They told me Raine died... with you.)

"You told me last week. I understand."

(Squall... thank you.)

"..." Squall didn't know how to respond to that. He had done what Dr. G had encouraged him to do, but not he was at a loss. _Do I just hang up? Is he still talking? _Laguna had nervously began to babble on about the upcoming building of E-Garden.

(.. Kiros thought that it was a silly idea to use that uniform for the...)

Laguna had been babbling for over a minute and Squall had been lost in his mind. The guy talked... a lot _I should get him together with Tidus... I didn't call you to 'chat', Laguna. I don't even 'chat' with people I like. I'm not ready for that, but..._

Squall took a deep breath before cutting Laguna off, "What was Raine like?"

_Step 2._

* * *

A/N: Ah... it's a start for them. I don't think Squall would hold the grudge forever...

Reviews are always appreciated :)


	6. Week 5: How to be Loved

A/N: Another heavy chapter, lacking in humor this week, but... hope you enjoy. As usual, PLEASE review :)

Note: this chapter is purposefully not in chronological order.

As usual any italics reflect Squall's inner monologue. Parentheticals are phone conversations.

Disclaimer: Don't own any of the Final Fantasies... (sigh)

**In Treatment: Week 5, How to be Loved.**

Rinoa swiped the keycard into Squall's room. He had given it to her so that she could drop off his dress uniform in his room after she had been kind enough to pick it up at the dry cleaners that day. Squall secretly thought she got off on doing something that domestic for him and he was right. Not only that, but he actually trusted her with a key to his room unsupervised. It was big deal for someone as private as Squall and Rinoa was aware of that. She was giddy despite the fact that she was doing a chore for him, then again she had to go to the dry cleaners anyway.

Rinoa hung the dress uniform in the closet and took a moment to bury her face in the leather jacket that was also hung there, breathing deeply. She pulled back and glanced over her shoulder nervously to make sure no one saw her, despite the fact that she was in Squall's dorm alone.

Rinoa smiled to herself and was heading towards the door when a yellow legal pad sitting on Squall's desk caught her eye. She wasn't trying to snoop, it was just sitting right out there. There was only one sentence written in Squall's distinct tiny, all capital's writing. He always pushed the pen down too hard. Rinoa glanced over and read the sentence.

She blinked rapidly and re-read it to make sure it wasn't a mistake. Rinoa shook her head and smiled heading out the door, humming to herself down the hallway as she left.

* * *

Squall poured himself a cup of coffee in the familiar styrofoam cup. Thankfully, "a mysterious philanthrope" had donated a new coffee maker that made single cups, and Squall had brought a supply of non-decaf to the group, saving the entire group from the watered down decaf that was usually served.

"You certainly seem familiar with that." Dr. G smiled at him as she grabbed her usual fudge cookie.

Squall said nothing _Well, yeah, that's why I chose it._

Squall took his usual seat, glancing around the group. Cloud seemed particularly pensive today, Lulu was her usual self: unreadable, Relm was doodling...something.

_Is she drawing me?_

Squall scowled in her direction and Relm blushed, quickly flipping her pencil over and erasing something.

Dr. G settled down next a few seats away from Squall and cleared her throat, indicating people to settle down. "Well, does anyone want to share today?"

_I talked to Laguna._

"Squall?" Dr. G continued.

_No, I don't want to talk. _Squall shook his head, "Not ready."

"I understand," Dr. G smiled warmly at him. After all the talk of parents over the past few weeks it was time for a break, "Let's shift the subject away from our parents. I understand it must be exhausting. Let's move onto something else for today..."

_Thank Hyne. Anything is better than making me think about Laguna._

"Let's talk about our current romantic relationships."

_... I take that back._

_Please don't let Tidus talk, pleasepleasepleaseplease, if I have to hear about his girlfriend and how his girlfriend thinks his dad was a "sweet dude" I will cut out his tongue, I swear to Hyne..._

"Cloud, why don't you tell us how it's going for you?" Dr. G said, sipping the new single-brew coffee, "Delicious..."

Squall let out a sigh of relief when he heard Dr. G ask Cloud to talk... Cloud didn't ramble or rant or act annoying. _Dr. G, I swear I love you._

Dr. G smirked over at Squall, as if she could hear his thoughts before turning towards Cloud, "How's Tifa?"

_Tifa? He has a girlfriend? I thought he was..._

Cloud shrugged, "Good."

Lulu cleared her throat, "Still stringing her along?"

Cloud glanced at Lulu arcanely, "I don't string her along, I just..."

Lulu scoffed and opened her mouth to say something else but was interrupted by Dr. G, "Cloud, what is currently happening with Tifa?"

Cloud sighed, "Nothing, I'm still working at 7th Heaven... delivering, the kids and all..." he droned off.

_He has kids?_ _There is no way... picturing Cloud as a father is like picture Seifer as a father. Not that Cloud is a bad guy, but... a father? The guy is as self-deprecating as Irvine is self-admiring._ Squall had no way of knowing Cloud was referring to his "adopted" children, Denzel and Marlene.

Dr. G smiled, "Well, you haven't left her again, so that's something..."

_Ouch._

"...and you haven't told her your feelings yet? Any thoughts of leaving recently?" Dr. G continued.

Cloud grunted, "No. Not again."

_So this girl took him back after he left? Would Raine have welcomed back Laguna?_

"At some point, Cloud, you have to let go of the dead. Trust me." Lulu's cool voice pierced through the quiet room.

Cloud's eyebrow twitched, "It's not that, it's not being haunted by the dead. I just know that I won't be able to..." He shook his head, "You wouldn't get it, I'm not able to protect her, so I shouldn't be there."

_Have you seen your sword, Cloud? We've sparred together, I've seen you fight, you are PLENTY confident on the field. As confident as Seifer._

Dr. G took off her glasses carefully, "Cloud. Lulu is on to something. Have you ever thought that maybe you push Tifa away and don't allow yourself to be loved by her because of what happened before? You blame yourself for the loss of two of your friends... as a punishment to yourself you don't let yourself get close to anyone."

Cloud closed his eyes, "I don't trust myself."

_Dr. G didn't say that he couldn't love someone... she said that he wouldn't allow someone to love HIM. Do I push away those who are trying to love me? _

Dr. G nodded, "Of course you don't. That's why we are here, Cloud. You are doing a good job."

Cloud sighed, "I spent so much time hurting Tifa because I felt like I didn't deserve her, so I distanced myself thinking I was doing the right thing. In the end I was just hurting her by vacillating. I even failed at distance, I couldn't stay away from her. All she does is keep accepting me and loving me and all I do is fail."

_He must really lov...care. He thinks staying away is doing her a favor. You don't want the person you c..care for to be enclosed in your own darkness._

Dr. G smiled, "Cloud, thank you for sharing that. Tell me, why is it that you don't think you deserve her?"

Cloud's body stiffened, "SOLDIER..." he mumbled, "I'm... nothing, no one. Not Za-" he cut himself off, shaking his head, "I don't deserve her, but she loves me anyway. I'll make it up to her...somehow"

_A solider. Afraid to bloody a beautiful woman with his hands. I know exactly how you feel, Cloud._

Dr. G nodded, "Cloud, this is why we are a trauma support group. You are stuck, dear. The trauma of SOLDIER, the trauma of your friends' deaths; you've been stuck. Your view of yourself is trapped in the past and is not accurate. You are operating with the same machinery you used ten years ago; you haven't evolved, your BRAIN hasn't evolved, at least not in terms of relationships."

_Bad machinery? The machine of my body grows but the machine of my brain is...Do I still think the same way I did when Sis' left? Maybe in some ways, but I'm changing... thanks to Rinoa._

"Cloud, tell me, do you think your brain was mature enough to maintain relationships ten years ago?" Dr. G asked.

_Ouch. Dr. G certainly isn't pulling any punches tonight._

Cloud smirked, "No, I was an idiot. Still am..."

_You're not nearly as idiotic as the other blonde in the room, Cloud. _Squall shuddered, thinking of Tidus.

"Love yourself... so that you can accept love from others." Dr. G said softly.

_Love yourself? I don't want to be Irvine, that guy loves himself plenty, in multiple ways._ Squall shuddered involuntarily.

Dr. G smiled, "Cloud, I'm hard on you, but that's because you've come so far. Just remember this: We accept the love we think we deserve."

_What do I deserve? I don't even deserve a chocobo with incontinence issues, let alone a human being._

Squall looked over at Cloud who was still staring down at his hands with his strange glowing eyes. Cloud looked up and over at him and their eyes met. Squall gave him a curt nod and Cloud smirked in return, nodding back.

_Soldiers always understand each other._

"Good job today, everyone, our time is up." Dr. G cleared her throat and stood, walking to Cloud and giving him a soft pat on the back.

_We accept the love we think we deserve..._

* * *

(Raine was... she was everything.)

_Yeah, real descriptive, Laguna..._

(She wasn't my first love though...my first love, Julia, she was beautiful. I can't say much beyond that, I loved Julia because she was beautiful and captivating when she sang and that drew me in, but Raine...I guess you could say I didn't really understand 'love' until Raine...)

_Julia? Sort of weird he was drawn to Rinoa's mom... maybe I am his son._

(Raine made me WANT to be a better person. I wanted to deserve the love she was happy and willing to give me. She loved a complete fool like me. It blew my mind. I would always strive to deserve her, not her beauty, or the fact that she was engaging, captivating... which she was... but HER, the person. I was a better man because of Raine.)

_Better man... He made decisions because of love? Isn't that weak? He's a soldier and a politician, you can't work those jobs if you work based on emotion._

(Raine saved my life, not just physically, but she saved ME, my soul. I am who I am because she loved me and I wanted to be worthy of it.)

_Laguna had to be deserving of Raine in his own mind... Do I deserve Rinoa?_

_Someone like me... blood, war... I don't deserve someone like..._

_Is that why I can never really tell her how I feel?_

(Squall?)

"Laguna... Thank you." Squall said curtly into the phone.

(Any time, Squall. Just ask.)

"Don't hold your breath." Squall muttered. _You didn't have to be so mean._ Squall didn't want the President getting too comfortable. He still wasn't ready.

* * *

Squall sighed. _Why... Why me?_

"I know what you're thinking, Squall..." Rinoa was poking her fingers together nervously, "I tried, Quistis tried, heck even Zell tried"

"Rinoa-" Squall began.

_This is not in my job description. As commander, boyfriend or friend._

Rinoa interrupted him, "Selphie really looks up to you, please, she won't come out and she won't listen."

Squall sighed again deeply, "Rinoa, I..."

_I am the last person you want to try to have talk you down from the ledge. Hell, I'd probably just end up giving he a push. I can see it now, 'Squall, Irvine and I broke up." 'Well yeah, you can be a bit clingy.' _

"Squall, for me, please."

_Dammit._

"Fine."

Rinoa led him to Selphie's room, where Selphie had locked herself in her bathroom crying. Quistis was sitting on Selphie's yellow duvet cover and looked up surprised when Rinoa re-entered with Squall in tow.

Squall glanced between the women, "This never leaves this room."

They nodded dutifully.

_If she ends up going on a rampage and making a homemade bomb and blowing up the stage in the atrium... let the record stand that I was against this._

Squall tapped on the bathroom door, "Selphie?"

*Sniffle* "Squall?" The voice squeaked from behind the door, raspy, she obviously had been crying.

"Yes." Squall replied. _Ok, now what?_

The sniffling continued on the other side of the door, "Squall?"

"Yes." Squall glanced back at Rinoa and Quistis for support and they just gave shoving motions towards him like he was supposed to know what to do. _Thanks a lot. You're girls, aren't you supposed to know what to say?_

"Selphie, Quistis and Rinoa are worried about you." Squall stated. _Let's start with facts. I can't mess that up._

"I know, they told me." The usually perky voice said from behind the door.

"Why are you sitting in the bathroom?" Squall realized it must have been the wrong thing when he saw the dirty look Quistis shot him _Too soon? Isn't' that why I'm here? To get her out of the bathroom?_

"Um... I'm just... I'm afraid."

Squall blinked. _Selphie, you're a SeeD, you aren't afraid of disarming a bomb, shooting a giant missile, I've seen you run into a platoon in a miniskirt and nunchuku and take out 10 men... you won't come out of the bathroom? _"Okay?"

"If I come out, it's all going to be different... Irvy, he..." Selphie sniffled.

_Different? We didn't paint her room or anything. Ugh, this is about Irvine? I should have known... can't the guy keep it in his pants for more than 20 hours?_

Selphie continued, "Squall, I got mad and... and he won't come back and... I don't want him to see me..*sniffle*"

Squall started to look like an animal trapped in a cage. Taking pity on him, Quistis cleared her throat, "Selphie caught Irvine with another girl... I'm not sure doing what. They had an argument, Selphie confronted him and he told her to stop 'being a snoop' and he left. She's been crying in there since."

Squall frowned _Irvine is an idiot for trying to cheat on a girl who can hack into anything blindfolded and with her hands tied behind her back._ "Selphie...Come out."

Selphie made a blowing noise from behind the door, "No... I'm a mess and... Irvine isn't coming back-and.. *hiccup*"

"Selphie, that's an order." _She'll never disobey that, right?_

Squall heard the doorknob unlock but the door wasn't opened. He glanced over at Rinoa who nodded at him encouragingly, "Selphie, I... I heard this thing." Squall sounded uncharacteristically off put. He wanted to be encouraging but repeating something his shrink told him was just too much. _What did I do to deserve this? Rinoa owes me big...__  
_

Rinoa smiled at Squall and surprised him when she said, "We accept the love we think we deserve," she supplied, knowing Squall would never say that out loud.

_How did she...?_

_The notepad... I wrote it down after group. _Squall narrowed his eyes at Rinoa who was looking back at him innocently. _You sneaky little minx... _He couldn't stay too upset though, more embarrassed than anything else, after all Squall had been stupid enough to write it down on a legal pad and leave it on his desk in plain sight.

Quistis looked downright shocked at Squall's show of empathy. Squall glared at her and she turned away.

_They better not talk about this... ever._

"Whatever," Squall muttered, "You deserve a lot." He barked at the door, he meant for it to sound kind, but it ended up sounding like an order on the battlefield. _It's the thought that counts, right?_

The door slowly opened and Selphie stood there, black streaks running down her cheeks from forgotten mascara, hair tangled, nose red, "Squall..." she sniffled, "That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me," she launched herself onto him in a bear hug that left Squall coughing. _How does someone this tiny... I feel like an elephant just sat on me._ Squall tapped her on the back once in response and then pried himself away, "Training Center." He mumbled, darting out of the room quickly, hoping the women did not notice his crimson cheeks.

_One step closer..._

* * *

A/N: Oy... not completely happy with this chapter, I was really nervous to post it. It was another heavy and serious one... Alas. For the record, I am not an Irvine-hater, him being a womanizer is just helping with the plot of the story. Yay for Squall learning something from Laguna!

Please Review! :)


	7. Week 6: Defenselessness

Disclaimer: Still don't own Final Fantasy. Not a single one. Not even Tactics...

A/N: Thank you SO much for all the positive response to this story, I was quite nervous about it and it's great all the support I've had! I had a bit of block but I am inspired again. Sorry for the delay... without further ado the next installment of In Treatment.

**In Treatment, Week 6: Defenselessness**

Quistis of all people had given him the word buzzing in his head. That irritating concept that tasted bad in his mouth and made his brain work on overdrive. The fact that it was making him think so much was probably a sign it would be good to bring up with Dr. G...maybe. It was a word that Squall had always thought to be positive; he was, after all, a soldier.

Quistis was annoyed, "For Bahamut's sake, stop being so..."

_Defensive._

It had started innocently enough. Quistis had been asking him about some cadets she had recently taken on a field exam. He had taught a combat class to the same cadets the semester prior to the field. Apparently one of the cadets had struggled on a field exam and Quistis was wondering how he had done in Squall's training class.

"If he didn't perform it was his own fault, I gave him the tools..."

It was true. It wasn't his fault the cadet had a royal screw up and barely made it out alive. He had taught him how to use Para-Magic, the guy just panicked. Squall had been quick to defend his class before he had even heard what Quistis' question was. Okay, maybe he had responded to Quistis a little bit quickly.

_Okay, I completely cut her off, I can be honest in my head._

And MAYBE he had sounded a little harsh.

_Pitbulls bark more gently than the way I spoke to her._

Quistis had cocked that obnoxious blonde eyebrow at him and just said, "I wasn't criticizing your teaching, Squall, for Bahamut's sake, stop being so..."

_Defensive..._

_DAMMIT, Quistis._

He was furious. He left and went to group with that nagging thought. Defense is a good thing.

_Hell, it's a command in battle!_

_Then why am I so angry at her?_

_Dr. G always says..._

* * *

"Cloud, my dear dear Cloud," Dr G was shaking her head affectionately at the clueless, frustrating yet endearing young man, "Anger is not anger, it's pain or fear in disguise."

"Huh?" Cloud's shiny eyes blinked, "Fear of what? She got angry because I forgot to tell her about one delivery? Was practically throwing bottles around the bar."

Dr. G was about to speak when Lulu spoke up, "Were you born this incredibly idiotic, Cloud? Or did the mako make you more dense over time?" Lulu always spoke in that monotone calm voice, it immediately made Squall feel like he was 6 years old again.

_She must be pretty confident to talk to him like that considering the 80kg sword strapped to his back._

Cloud blushed slightly at Lulu's comment and mumbled something.

_She's good._

Dr. G cleared her throat, "Lulu, maybe you could explain what you mean a bit more... gently."

Lulu nodded, "Alright." She turned towards Cloud again and Squall swore that Cloud flinched. Lulu narrowed her eyes slightly as if daring Cloud to disagree, "Tifa was obviously angry because she is afraid that you are going to leave again. You forgetting to tell her about your delivery brought up the fear that you wouldn't come back. She wasn't angry, she was scared. of you. leaving. *again*" That last word was laid on thick.

"But of course I'm coming back..."

Lulu scoffed, "Why should she trust that? You're a soldier, you know that the best offense is a good defense."

_Isn't it the other way around?_

Dr. G nodded, "That's very good Lulu. Maybe Tifa got upset because she wanted to protect herself from being hurt."

Cloud shook his head, "I'm not going to hurt her. Not again."

Relm piped up, "If she's angry at you now Cloud, she won't feel stupid when you don't come back later... she is getting angry pre-emptively. Going on the offense to protect herself, right, Lu? Dr. G? I mean look at your track record..."

_The ladies are really ganging up on him today...maybe it's better if I don't talk this week._

Dr. G smiled softly at Cloud, "It is going to take time for her to believe that you won't leave again, Cloud. In the meanwhile she is going to put up her defenses quickly and react to things that might not completely make sense to you."

With the repeating of that obnoxious word, Squall finally snapped and let out a quiet scoff. It was as close to an outburst as he was capable. The whole room grew deathly silent.

Dr. G smirked, "Something you'd like to share, Squall?"

Squall shook his head, "No."

Dr. G remained silent.

_I hate it when she does that. She just stays quiet so I'll talk. She knows that eventually one of us will break... not gonna be me this time. _

Dr. G folded her hands on her lap and continued to peek at him from above her reading glasses.

_Why is she giving me that look? Does she know what I'm thinking? I swear she might be psychic... she thinks I'm being a jerk, I can tell... she thinks I'm mad at Lulu, she thinks..._

_Damn she's good. _

Squall gave in, "Why does everyone keep talking about defense like it's a bad thing?"

Dr. G gave him a knowing look, "Hm. Well, that is an excellent comment, Squall. I also think this is a hard concept for people, but... Safety lies in defenselessness."

Squall almost spit out his now tolerable group coffee. Before he could respond, Dr. G held up her hand.

"Yes, I know what you're going to say, Squall, but listen. When you are planning a battle, where do you put your strongest fighter?"

Lulu spoke before Squall could, "Auron is always to my left."

Squall nodded, "I always stand next to Rinoa."

Dr. G smiled, "And why is that?"

Lulu shrugged, "I'm weak on the left and when I'm casting spells I can't concentrate on defending myself physically... oh."

_I don't want Rinoa to get hurt. _

"Squall, you stand next to Rinoa, who might not be quite as good as defending herself as you, but from what I understand is a tough girl. If I was your enemy, I would realize immediately where your weakness was by where you place your defense. You show all your cards, Commander."

_She's right._

Dr. G continued, "Now of course I am not attempting to give you battle tactics or telling you what you do is wrong. You are all good at what you do. I am using this as an analogy for emotional defense."

Dr. G took off her glasses and folded them, placing them on her lap, giving the room a dramatic pause.

_She always does that when she wants to make some huge point_

Dr. G cleared her throat, "When you put up a defense, it immediately shows where you are weak emotionally. Tifa became defensive because she doesn't feel secure in regards to your leaving, Cloud. You, Cloud, are her weakness. Or rather, her *feelings* towards you is her weakness. All of us do this. I'm sure each of you can think of examples."

_Am I insecure regarding my teaching abilities? Is that why I immediately assumed Quistis was criticizing me? Well... I know I'm not the best communicator and I didn't want to teach the class to begin with because... because I was afraid I wouldn't be a good teacher._

_Shit._

_Dammit, Dr. G. Stop being right all the time._

Dr. G continued, "This is why... True safety, true security lies in being defenseless."

Cloud nodded, "Being defensive is just another version of an attack really. Defense is a war strategy. So... what you're saying that if we aren't defensive, we aren't continuing the war? Does that mean we are surrendering? I don't give up in a battle."

Dr. G shook her head, "No. You're winning, really. If a bully is trying to pull you into a fight, how do you respond? Do you enter? Or are you mature enough to not play the childish game?"

_Seifer._

Cloud snorted, "My answer now is different than my answer 5 years ago. I see what you are saying: defenselessness can't be attacked. If there is no defense there is nothing to attack. It's the ultimate strength."

Dr. G smiled, "Exactly."

* * *

Squall used this epiphany a few days later.

Rinoa was twisting her foot on the ground in front of her, "I know I said I would meet you after group, but..."

Squall nodded, "Yeah, so come."

Rinoa attempted a cute pout, "I can't, I have some stuff with Angelo, and..."

_Nice try Rinoa, the pouty face isn't gonna work this time..._

Squall shook his head, "I'll help you with it later."

Rinoa sighed, "No, I have to do it, it's a special kibble..."

"Rinoa..."

The conversation continued like this until Rinoa's voice started to have hints of anger, "Squall, I have to take care of it! You just don't get it!"

Squall checked his anger. _Safety is in defenselessness. If she is angry she has fear or pain. She is defending a weakness... Rinoa's fear is..._

"Rinoa, why don't you want to meet me after group?"

Rinoa shook her head, "I do! I have to deal with Angelo."

Squall hesitantly reached out and touched Rinoa's hand, "Rinoa, they aren't going to care that you're a Sorceress. They will like you."

Rinoa blinked over at Squall rapidly, as if in shock he saw through her temper tantrum, "I.. it's not that, seriously, Angelo..."

Squall shrugged, "I'll help you with Angelo. I'll see you at 5. They'll love you, just like I do."

As Squall darted away from her before she could argue again he was confused by her lack of argument following him down the hallway. It was then that he realized the reason for her silence.

_Did I just indirectly tell her I lo..loved her?_

_Oh well._

_I guess that's what happens when you're defenseless._

_Win win win. Got her to stop arguing, she's coming and I finally told her._

_How is it that things are so easy?_

* * *

Squall couldn't remember what happened in group, he was too preoccupied with his nervousness at Rinoa meeting everyone to really engage anyway. He wasn't afraid of them liking her or her liking them, it was that it felt like he was exposing another part of his persona to her. The group had become extremely important to Squall, a private thing he treasured. He had even begun to appreciate Tidus. Tidus had helped him somewhat tolerate Laguna... at least to the point where father and son had managed to have 3 whole phone conversations. Squall had decided that perpetually cheerful people could be slightly tolerable. Sort of. In small, microscopic doses.

Group was finally over. He was heading towards the door when he felt a presence next to him and heard the soft sound of chains swooshing.

_Lulu_.

"Wakka is meeting us too," Lulu said softly.

Squall nodded down at her as they headed towards the exit. He spotted Rinoa standing with two other people he didn't know. A man that looked like Zell except tanner, with red hair and minus the facial tattoo. He was bouncing around eagerly, waving his hands around emphatically as he described something to Rinoa and the other girl they were with. The girls were laughing at his story sincerely. Squall recognized the other brunette as Tidus' girlfriend. Tidus has made a point of showing off a picture in group once _Prick..._

_The redhead must be with Tidus, great... just what I need, another loud, zealous-_

"Wakka..." the woman next to him murmured.

_No... can't be. That's her husband-to-be? Where is the leather? Where is the scowl?_

Lulu smirked, "I know, surprising isn't it? Were you expecting someone more like yourself?"

Squall nodded mutely.

_Well... yeah._

"Look, Tifa is here too," Lulu motioned towards a pretty woman who was running towards the group.

Squall's eyes bugged out slightly. _Why would Cloud EVER leave that..._

Squall met Rinoa's eyes and she flashed him a huge smile. Her conversation with Wakka and Yuna must have already relaxed her. Squall suddenly felt immensely grateful for Lulu and her choice in a mate. Things were changing and the world wasn't ending. He was changing and people weren't running away, in fact they were getting closer.

_I'll have to apologize to Quistis for yelling at her the other day..._

"Come on, Lu." Squall nodded towards her.

Lulu paused, "Lulu. Call me Lulu, I'm still your elder."

Squall rolled his eyes, "Whatever."

Then again, some things would stay the same too. Squall smirked, "Kind of a defensive response, Lulu."

Lulu's eyebrows twitched, "Watch it, Leonhart. That sounded like something Tidus would say." She mumbled as she headed towards the group waiting for them.

_Damn, she is good. _

* * *

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! I will try not to have such a delay with the next chapter! It's slowly coming to an end *sniff* but I'm already trying to find a way to have Dr. G in another fic... maybe a pseudo-sequel. We'll see :)


	8. Week 7: Closer

A/N: Thank you again for all the continued support on this story! The reviews are what keeps me going (shameless hint)... in regards to this story and some of the questions I've gotten on the content... no I am not just making stuff up in regards to therapy and psychiatrists, I have a lot of respect for the field and some basic training as all people in my field do. I also did a bit of research for this story.

Disclaimer: Don't own any Final Fantasies

As always, Squall's lovely thoughts are in italics

**In Treatment, Week 7: Closer**

**INTERLUDE: The girls**

Selphie let out a rather un-ladylike burp as she finished off the golden liquid in front of her, "Boo-(hic)-yaka. When did you learn how to bartend, Quisty? This is de-lish"

Quistis smirked, "There are many things you don't know about me, Selph. Besides, I'm not one to kiss and tell." She poured the other girl another Manhattan she had been mixing.

Selphie grinned and then caught Rinoa's eye across the counter, "Seifer." They both muttered in unison.

Selphie swore Quistis blushed, though no one believed her later. Quistis shook her head, "Not all suprising or fun things involve guys I may have at one point, perhaps still currently am but certainly not serious about possibly dating."

Selphie blinked, "What?"

"Exactly."

Rinoa rolled her eyes as she shook her glass in front of Quistis indicating a re-fill, "Quisty, we know you're still seeing him and are happy."

"I'm not your bartender, you know," Quistis mumbled, taking the glass from her and mixing another margarita, "Look, it's not serious so I don't want to get into it."

Rinoa raised an eyebrow and took her fresh drink from the other girl, "Not serious? You didn't come home all weekend."

Selphie spit out a small amount of her drink but wisely chose to remain silent.

Quistis shot her a withering glare, "That's good bourbon, watch it." She didn't address Rinoa's comment.

Selphie knew better but she couldn't help it, she knew this comment could very well land her in Squall's office with transfer papers to Trabia but… but it was just gnawing at her, "So, how is Seifer in bed?"

This time Rinoa spit out her drink, but was far less graceful than Selphie. Quistis flicked her now tequila-soaked bangs out of her eyes, "It's fine. Like I said, we really aren't serious."

Rinoa paused from sipping her drink, "You can sleep with someone you aren't serious about? I mean…" she tapdanced from her statement, fearful that she may have inadvertently offended Quistis.

Quistis shrugged, "Find it easier to, honestly." She turned towards Rinoa, "Speaking of, Rinoa… what about our good Commander?"

Rinoa coughed, knowing that covering Quistis with her drink was going to come back to haunt her, "Um… we… we haven't. We've barely kissed."

Selphie did spit out her drink this time, showering Quistis once again.

Quistis hmmed, ignoring her new shower, "Sounds like Squall might have the same problem I do, the more you can attach to someone emotionally, sometimes the harder it is to even see them physically. But yet it's easy to attach yourself physically to people you know can't get attached to you emotionally."

Rinoa's eyes widened at Quistis' confession, "That… makes sense. I know he loves me, he… well he sort of told me but…"

"WHAT? BOOYAKA! HOW DID YOU NOT TELL US THIS?" Selphie knocked over Quistis and the remainder of her drink as she jumped out of her chair and hurled herself towards Rinoa.

Rinoa simply looked down at her hands and blushed and for once was silent. Squall's actions towards her were as much a mystery to her as they were to the other occupants of the room. Quistis, however, seemed to have caught onto something with her statement. Was Squall somehow unable to combine his feelings above with his feelings below?

* * *

Dr. G was chewing on the back of her pen as she listened to the green haired girl in the group. Lulu was merely raising an eyebrow in her direction. The men all seemed to be shifting uncomfortably, Squall included. Unbeknownst to most, (though he had a sneaky suspicion Dr. G knew) Squall was uncomfortable for completely different reasons as the rest of the men.

"Do you love this man? This Edge?"

_Count on Lulu to be blunt._

Rydia blushed prettily, "Well, yes."

Lulu shrugged her shoulders, "Then I do not understand what the problem is in terms of expressing it. This is not about your mother, or at least I don't see how it is. Right, Dr. G?"

Rydia shifted, "Not all of us find it easy to, ah, express ourselves, Lu." Rydia gestured towards Lulu's stomach.

_Sweet Hyne, is Lulu preg..._ Squall choked slightly on his coffee and noticed that Cloud had spit his clear across the room. _Rydia has guts calling her out like that. How is she still standing?_

Dr. G held up a hand as she felt the tension in the room, "Ladies, please. Lulu you know that Rydia speaks to you from a loving place and we are all quite happy for you."

Lulu smiled, "I know."

Dr. G turned towards the green haired girl, "Rydia, anger doesn't suit you. That being said, I agree with Lulu, I know this isn't about your mother, so... let's get to the bottom of it. Does anyone else have any thoughts?"

_So Rydia loves this Edge guy but can't even kiss him? Does he look like Cid or something? Even then, looks aren't everything, right? I don't understand women._

"Does he look like a mix between a chocobo and a moomba or something?" Cloud piped up.

Rydia balked, "You're one to talk, spiky... And no, he is quite... eh...um..."

"Handsome?" Lulu offered.

"Charming?" Relm tried.

"Cute?" Dr. G chimed in.

"Hot, actually."

_Can we PLEASE talk about something else. Pleasepleaseplease._

Dr. G sighed, "Ah yes... but we are getting off track here. Rydia when did you separate physical love and emotional love."

_Separate love? Isn't physical supposed to be an expression of the emotional? I mean the only reason I haven't gotten closer to Rinoa is because she probably isn't ready. Yup. That's it. She's scared._

Rydia shook her head, "I don't understand."

Dr. G nodded, "Sorry, I wasn't being clear. Rydia, who in your life did you love but you couldn't be close to physically. Maybe it was social taboo, maybe they were taken. Someone you loved but it was forbidden to be physical with them. You might not have even been aware of any desire for that matter. But someone you deeply trusted but there was a clear boundary that love was emotion only. For example, when I was quite a bit younger, 14 to be exact, I had an excellent professor at prep school."

_Whoa, Dr. G... who knew you had a sordid past?_

Dr. G continued, "He was amazing and inspired me to go into medicine. I know what you were thinking, but this was not any '50 shades of grey'. There was not any physical desire on my part or his, I simply admired him, loved him even. There wasn't even a thought of physical love, he was almost 50 at the time. This love though, made it hard for me when I loved someone in my early 20s, because in my mind, somehow, loving someone meant I couldn't be close to them physically."

"Cecil..." Rydia mumbled quietly.

"Somehow you have trained your brain that there is a physical barrier up whenever you are close with someone because of whatever boundary there was with Cecil." Dr. G continued, "We talk about this all the time in our group. We write programs with our childhood brains and then try to operate them with adult brains, however, programs written with an old computer don't work on a more advanced model."

_So we have to re-write the program._

"So... I'm broken?" Rydia looked ready to cry.

Dr. G shook her head, "Not at all, dear. We just have to re-write the program. Recognition is the first step."

_How do I re-write my program? Who did I love that I couldn't be with physically... Sis? Not... I didn't think of her like that at all but she was taken away. There was definitely a boundary. Did this make me think that being close to people meant I couldn't get physically close? Arggh, this is extremely uncomfortable._

"Remember," Dr G glanced at Squall, "We accept the love we think we deserve. Physical and Emotional."

* * *

After group Squall was standing outside smoking a cigarette before he headed back to Garden when he felt a presence to his side, "Cloud, you should know not to sneak up on a soldier. If I didn't hear you coming from a mile away I would have probably sliced you in half."

Cloud scoffed, "Please, you had no idea I was here and... I'd like to see you try. I've got twice the control of my Buster here than you do with that ridiculous gun thing."

Squall chuckled and silently offered Cloud a cigarette which he took.

_Don't worry buddy, I won't tell Tifa if you don't tell Rinoa._

"Don't tell Tifa," Cloud mumbled as he lit the cigarette.

The two stood outside, staring at the ocean in silence for a few minutes, watching the members of the group walk out of the building.

_It's nice to be near someone who isn't afraid of silence. This is so much easier than being around Zell._

Squall was putting out his cigarette on the bottom of his boot when Cloud finally spoke, "She won't break."

_Huh?_ Squall just glanced over at him with a raised brow.

Cloud flicked his cigarette across the parking lot and shoved his hands in his pockets, "Rinoa. She won't break. I promise."

Before Squall could respond, two pale arms snaked their way around Cloud's chest announcing the presence of Tifa. Cloud smirked at Squall and turned around, gathering Tifa in his arms and kissing her, tugging slightly at her hair to turn her face up towards him. Finally releasing himself from her lips and leaving a dazed Tifa in his wake, Cloud nodded back towards Squall, "See?" He said before he slung an arm around the brunette and dragged her off. Tifa offered Squall an apologetic smile and a small wave as they walked off.

_Was that a...challenge? Was he calling me chicken?_

_Am I afraid that I will break Rinoa? Do I somehow believe that there is a boundary because I...because of how I feel? That something horrible will happen if I ever try to touch her?_

_I really hate you sometimes, Dr. G._

_Then again there is no way I'm letting Cloud beat me._

* * *

"So, the Doc said that Irvine fits into a pattern that has been repeating itself. A play that I need to re-write, basically." Selphie's voice was coming from inside Rinoa's room, where Squall had found himself after group.

_That reminds me I was planning on killing Irvine next time I see him. I am so sick of listening to Selphie cry about that moron._

"Makes sense. You choose the people to fit the pattern you are used to."

_Quistis is there too, I guess. Wonder if she is still mad at me._

Selphie sighed, twirling a piece of hair around her finger, "He said that... I chose Irvine also because... because I know he can't fully commit. So it's safe to be close to him physically because I know deep down we can't be close emotionally because he's not capable of it."

Quistis hmmed, "That's what I was trying to tell you the other night."

"I don't think that's the case with Squall though. I think maybe... it's that thing you were talking about Quistis." _Rinoa has been talking about me with the other girls? Who am I kidding, of course she has._

Quistis voice sounded thoughtful, "The boundaries? The difficulty in separating physical and emotional?"

_Has she been talking to Dr. G?_

Quistis continued, "There is no doubt Squall has some serious walls, Rinoa, but he has kissed you once and in his own way told you he loves you, right?"

Selphie piped up, "He is definitely attracted to you, Irvine told me that he said..."

_I am going to KILL Irvine. Seriously. Two strikes Kineas, I am taking you down slow..._

Quistis was laughing, "So, Rinoa, make it OBVIOUS that there are no boundaries. Use what Hyne gave you."

Rinoa's voice cut through, "Act like... I can't act like that! Squall would freak out and probably think I slept with Seifer at some point."

_There goes my dinner..._

Quistis was laughing even louder, "Rinoa, there is a long range from Madonna virgin and whore. Find somewhere in the middle that just let's him know it's okay."

_Okay, that's enough... Of course I want her and...uggh._

Squall decided that now was an appropriate time to announce his presence and knocked sharply on the door, completely silencing all three voices from within.

He heard footsteps and the door slid open to reveal a red-nosed Rinoa from within, a cocktail in her hand.

_No boundry. It's okay, I can show her... and I am sure not letting Cloud show me up._

Squall took a deep breath and looked at Rinoa. _I can smell the liquor from here, ha._

Rinoa squinted, "Why are you looking at me so funny? What's up, Squall?"

Squall cleared his throat and then grabbed the wrist of the brunette in front of him, causing her to emit a small yelp. He curled his hand into the back of her head, tugging slightly to turn her face up towards him.

"Squall, what are you-"

Her words were cut off as he kissed her, uncaring of the other occupants of the room who were staring at the couple, rendered currently mute. He ended the kiss after what seemed like an eternity, inhaling Rinoa's scent deeply before letting her go. She was staring at him with glassy eyes.

"Hi." Squall mumbled. "Ready to go?"

_Take that, Strife. _

* * *

Squall only has 3 weeks left of mandatory therapy. What will happen next! :) Thanks again for reading this, remember to review :)


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